I Was Amazed, I Was Left Behind (Poem)

“I Was Amazed and Left Speechless” is a poem written by Yavuz Bülent Bâkiler and is one of the representative works of Republican-era Turkish poetry. Bâkiler composed this poem based on his personal experience of love. Thematically, the poem explores the bewilderment, indecision, and inner conflicts experienced in the face of love.^【1】 The text, grounded in an autobiographical background, examines the ebb and flow between attraction to and escape from love through simple language and imagery. The poet fused the traditions of folk and divan poetry with the freedom of modern verse, treating the theme of love both as a personal and a Sufi experience.

^{Yavuz Bülent Bakiler} (AA)

The poet wrote this poem for a person he attended classes with during his university years and shared daily life with, yet never openly expressed his love to. Although the poet revealed his intense attachment to this person through his actions, he never made a verbal confession. Years later, during a confrontation, it became clear that the other person had also recognized this affection, reinforcing the central theme of “bewilderment” in the poem with its real-life counterpart.

I claim I flee from you on galloping steeds,

Sometimes silently, with silken wings,

But you always appear with ancient stubbornness,

Meeting me in the coolest breezes,

Writing your name in every opportunity you find,

With dots and lines upon my heart’s core,

In the end I am left alone with sighs,

I claim I flee from you on galloping steeds.

Please, one day stand at my door and listen,

Kill the self within me, then revive it with your own,

Strike me with black passion, at least a hundred thousand times,

So you may understand how I became bound by your cord.

How many times I left these places, I swear,

Yet each time I returned to you.

Which knot can be undone with pleading, blame, or hatred?

Please, one day stand at my door and listen…

I was amazed and left speechless, I do not know what you are,

Sometimes you are my sister, sometimes my kissed mother,

When silent you are a sultan, when speaking you are a servant,

You are an endless trial that never diminishes,

You are the horizon line there, the hearth here,

You are the infinite circle that embraces me like a soul,

I am helpless, you are my solution.

I was amazed and left speechless, I do not know what you are. ^【2】 

The poem is primarily composed in the syllabic meter of 7+7=14 syllables. However, variations are introduced through the use of 15-syllable and 7-syllable lines (e.g., “I claim I flee from you / on galloping steeds” → 15-syllable line). Sound repetitions (“s” sounds, “at” rhymes, “-larla” refrains) create musical harmony. The repetition of identical lines at the beginning and end of sections reinforces internal cohesion. The diction is simple and melodic.

The poem centers on the individual’s vulnerability, indecision, and inner conflicts in the face of love. Although the speaker claims to flee from the beloved, he admits that this flight is merely verbal, as he always returns. While rooted in autobiographical experience, the poem offers a universal narrative that reflects not only the poet’s personal story but also the shared emotional state of others who have experienced similar feelings.