People and Oaths

What does a human bid farewell to? To another person, to a city, or to an object. A human bids farewell to themselves. Mankind is inherently vulnerable and alone in this world. They enter the world through their mother and father, but when their most basic needs—care and protection—are not met, these infants are helplessly in need of assistance. As humans grow, they may come to provide their own care and protection, yet the most essential needs that remain are those of security and being loved. Mankind desires close relationships in life, sometimes with family, sometimes with a friend, and sometimes with an animal they have taken in. At the heart of all these bonds lies sharing, loving, and being loved. But what if, for whatever reason, one must bid farewell to these...

Separations are always present in our lives. Sometimes, contrary to what we think, they are not necessarily bad. For something new to begin, something else must end. Sometimes you must leave your school, your city, where you spent time and formed connections. But you know this: such endings are harbingers of new beginnings. Yet bidding farewell to a person—every departure takes something from you and leaves something behind. Why is farewell painful? Because “in truth, a human bids farewell to themselves.” They long for the version of themselves that existed with that person. They miss the dreams they built together. Accepting this farewell is not easy, but somehow, humanity adapts and adjusts to the new reality. They grow older with all that they have accumulated within them. But what if one must bid farewell without being able to say goodbye—suddenly, with the person’s death? This is far more difficult. Here begins a long process we call the stages of grief. Sometimes we do the things we once did with them, and in doing so, we remember them. Sometimes we carry one of their belongings with us; sometimes we remember them through our prayers.

In the end, every farewell is a separation—sometimes an end, sometimes a beginning. Let us gather beautiful people in our lives, so that even farewells may hold meaning. Let us cultivate relationships in which our worth is known. As Nazım Hikmet said, “Life is no joke; you must live it with great seriousness.”

Nazım Hikmet: A Poetic Listening on Life (Fazıl Say)