Getting Sick at KYK

I don’t think enough is said about falling ill in the KYK dormitory or about the loneliness that KYK imposes, so I will humbly share my own experience. As we grow older and feel increasingly free, we tend to distance ourselves from our families, as if being away from them somehow makes our own existence feel stronger. Or perhaps simply because it makes us feel like we can do whatever we want.

But the real question is this: Should everything we desire necessarily come true?

Most often it should not, and our families can see things we cannot—but perhaps we already know this. Now I will tell you honestly how it feels to have no family nearby. Moreover, in the KYK dormitory, we become detached from what we call real love and genuine bonds, as if to avoid feeling alone, we choose to ignore everything.yalnız kalmamak. Anyway, let me now take you to the moment when I felt my yalnızlığımı most intensely. I had been severely ill for nearly three days, with intense abdominal pain. I assumed it was just a normal ache and waited for it to pass, but last night I could not sleep at all. I called my family in tears and said I could not take it anymore. Though they were heartbroken, they could do nothing. If I had been at home, even a soup made with love might have helped. But that was gone too, and I felt as if I had nothing at all. I finally fell asleep with great difficulty, but I woke up when the other students in the room returned and their voices disturbed me. KYK is also, in part, about waking up at night. When I woke in the morning, I could not even stand up, but somehow I managed to prepare myself and went to the hospital. I spent hours pacing the hospital from 2 p.m. until midnight. Doctors, always eager to finish their work quickly, kept cutting ahead of me in line, and my own responsibilities piled up. I could no longer hold back and began sobbing uncontrollably. Then a woman hugged me and asked, “Did you come here alone? Is no one with you?” I did have people—but they were not here. I told her this and continued crying. Even though it was finally my turn, the staff member who saw me in that state called me over, and through tears I underwent a CT scan. Of course, my procedures were not over. At that hour of the night, I sat on the floor and waited for everything to pass. By the end of the day, I wished more than anything that my family were with me. I prayed that no matter what, they would be beside me. KYK is not merely a place for laughter and amusement. It is also a place where, when you fall ill, no one can even make you a bowl of soup. You have to go to a restaurant just to drink soup. In the photo I shared, you see me crying as I drank that restaurant soup, clinging to the hope of recovery.