Caregiver/Assistant Selection

Foreign Nanny or Turkish Nanny?

One of the most challenging stages of motherhood is choosing a nanny. You must answer dozens of questions according to your own needs: “Will she stay during the day or live in?”, “Will she work full time or part time?”

The issue of live-in nannies is itself a complex set of variables. Some families employ live-in nannies even though both parents work, while others have two helpers at home even though no one works outside. My most important advice here is to focus on finding the solution that best suits your family as quickly as possible, without judging others.

Another suggestion is to view nanny turnover as normal. Instead of feeling upset when your nanny leaves or when you are dissatisfied, accept it as a natural part of the process—it greatly reduces stress. If you are considering hiring a foreign nanny, it is essential to research visa and work permit procedures in advance, and even seek professional advice if necessary.

Keep your expectations of continuity as low as possible. Based on my own experience and what I have observed among others, nannies often change jobs abruptly when offered higher pay, fail to show up citing illness, disappear over the weekend and do not return, or leave due to undesirable situations at home. These are all very common occurrences.

We have gone through this process ourselves: since Agâh was born, we have worked with our fourth nanny. Our first nanny stayed for 10 months, the second for 4 months, and the third only 2 months. Our current nanny has been with us for over a year, and I hope we have finally found the right person. Even so, this does not guarantee she will never leave. The most frequent reasons for parting ways are salary disagreements, failure to fulfill responsibilities, or difficulties in childcare.

Therefore, clearly defining boundaries from the start makes the entire process much easier for both employer and nanny. The approach I have adopted is sharing responsibilities. This way, both I and the nanny have room to breathe, and the burden is not placed solely on one person’s shoulders.

Below, I have summarized the key issues to consider when agreeing on terms with a nanny. These questions were compiled from the Facebook group “Researching Mothers” and adapted to my own perspective. You can expand the list according to your own needs. I also strongly recommend joining this group.

Job Description

• The nanny’s duties and working hours must be clearly defined (daily, weekly, monthly).
• Responsibilities and boundaries must be explicitly stated.
• How to handle incomplete or inadequate tasks should be discussed in advance.

Salary

• The salary amount and currency must be determined.
• Additional payments such as transportation, leave allowances, and pocket money must be clarified.
• The payment schedule and method (bank transfer, cash, etc.) must be agreed upon.
• The employer must clearly state in advance the frequency and criteria for salary increases.
• If deductions from the salary are to be made, the amount and reason must be specified.

Legal Matters and Leave

• The nanny’s residency and work permit status must be clearly established.
• Who will cover the costs of permit documents must be decided in advance.
• It must be clearly discussed where the passport will be kept.

Note: Especially during states of emergency, it is recommended that the original passport and ID remain with the employee, while copies are kept by the employer.

Working Hours

• For a daytime helper, start and end times must be set.
• For a live-in worker, the day of her weekly leave must be clearly defined.
• Departure and return times on her day off must be agreed upon in advance.
• Evening work end time and nighttime care responsibilities must be included in the agreement.
• Morning wake-up time and morning preparation expectations must be stated in advance.
• What the nanny may do during free time during the day must be clearly specified (resting in her room, waiting in the kitchen, etc.).

Hygiene Rules

• What the nanny is expected to wear inside and outside the home must be clearly stated.
• Situations requiring handwashing must be reminded (upon arrival, before and after meals, before and after childcare).

Behavioral Rules at Home

• Smoking and alcohol consumption must be strictly prohibited.
• No visitors may be brought into the home without the family’s permission.
• It must be clearly disclosed if cameras are installed in the home; children must never be taken to areas without recording.
• The family’s private matters and conversations must not be shared outside the home.
• When phone or tablet use is permitted must be specified.
• It must be stated from the beginning that all decisions regarding childcare are the employer’s responsibility.
• Games to play with the child must be taught, and at least one game must be played each day.
• Rules regarding the child (sugar, stairs, playgrounds, etc.) must be clearly defined.
• It must be explicitly stated that children must never be left alone.

Termination of Employment

• If the nanny wishes to leave, she must give at least two weeks’ notice.
• The employer must also commit to giving the same notice period if termination is required.
• It must be stated in advance that references will not be provided in case of rule violations.